PTW

OK lets see who has any good jokes(and not me on the bike today)

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ''Amal.'' The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ''Juan.'' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins - if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!''

Jade Goody in an attempt to put things right has converted to Islam and adopted the muslim faith. She has donned a Hijab and changed her name to "Yoophat Fouker".

A married couple are sat in the cinema, when all of a sudden the wife turns to her husband and whispers"I've just let off a silent guff, what do you think I should do?, well says the husband "as soon as we get home you'd better put new batteries in your earing aid!

I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

I entered ten puns in a contest, and I thought I would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Nice to see you're still alive Tarquin. See on you the bike maybe. Still running the legs off your dog ?